The Smiling Assassin

• Can I be controversial for a second? I find American Football an utterly ridiculous and inpenetrable sport to follow. #
• I appreciate that there are many people who do enjoy the sport but I'm not someone who pretends to like something, or someone, when I don't. #
• @pauledwards1973 I'm sure there are quite a few that don't think that about it though. #
• American football is a lot like other American sports; they like to talk alot about stats and such to hide the fact that the sport itself… #
• Is actually a fairly simple sport in itself. That and the adverts too. Baseball is much the same. I've got time for basketball though. #
• Another day, another spammer blocked. My work here is done. #
• @estoy_lee Simple genius in those last two tweets of yours, love 'em. #
• .@becc_one Nobber really is one of those underused insults. #
• I didn't realise Victoria was there #badoomtish #hereallweek RT @ErinNYC75 And there was Beckham's cock. #

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• Just seen the teamsheet. Nice balance to it tonight and hopefully having Spearing in the holding role will free up Adam & Henderson. #
• Also; Carroll, Kuyt & Bellamy in the same side shows some serious attacking intent there. I approve. #
• @SiClancy Pepe Reina spreads it around like Ryan Giggs on heat. #Imnotentirelysurethisjokeworks #
• @Skipper8_ @pauledwards1973 was about to ask the same myself. None of the academy lads I follow have said anything, only follow a few though #
• With apologies to @littlelegalgirl for stealing her "bit" but has Andy Carroll scored. I'm not sure. #
• In other news, apart from handcuff man, the definite highlight of the 1st half of Ever*on-Man City was when I went to get a Pot Noodle. #
• Do us a favour love! RT @skysarahjane It'll be #Torres next…………. #
• Just listening to Monday's Guardian Football Weekly podcast. Interesting theory from @SidLowe that Rafa Benitez wants the England job. #
• @flipflopy @SidLowe most things are better than Arry. #
• Chelsea may have grabbed a point but they still have to come to Anfield and they clearly love dropping points. Fight for 4th far from over. #
• Dear Twitter, I know about your new activity panel and I don't give a flying one. Many thanks, etc, etc… #
• I've got no problem with a challenge with FIFA 12 but every player being a cross between Lionel Messi & Maradona I do have a problem with. #
• It's the one thing that stopped me playing PES in the end, no matter how sheite the player, they'd manage to go on 90 yard mazy runs. #
• Sorry about that, just needed to get that out my system. #
• @BrianDurand56 Definitely, got to get his tax returns in by tomorrow for starters. #obviousjokes #
• Real shame Cisse never really made it Anfield. Broken leg and Rafa not being a fan meant he never got a proper chance. #
• Those weren't the ONLY reasons he failed to make it at LFC BTW, before I get angry tweets telling me otherwise. #
• Just watching the highlights from the Wolves game for 1st time. How on earth Charlie Adam wasn't given a penalty in 1st half I don't know. #
• Wolves game was reasonably even in the first half, at least on the basis of the highlights anyway. #
• And on the basis of the last few games, it's clear Jordan Henderson is going to be a very good player for #LFC #
• Please don't retweet or mention THAT individual please. #
• I should probably know this but has Shelvey started a PL game yet? #
• Thanks to those who told me that Shelvey started against Villa. Certainly deserves a few more, him & Henderson could be a great partnership. #
• This show #bouncers that I see mentioned on my timeline; is this on one of the 900 channels? #
• Pointing out the hypocrisy of the media is an exercise in futility. People aren't stupid, they can see what agendas some journos have. #
• Sorry, did I some? I meant most. #
• I'd love it, absolutely love it. RT @Arlarse Imagine Suarez scored the winner at Old Trafford… #

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• This show #bouncers that I see mentioned on my timeline; is this on one of the 900 channels? #
• Pointing out the hypocrisy of the media is an exercise in futility. People aren't stupid, they can see what agendas some journos have. #
• Sorry, did I some? I meant most. #
• I'd love it, absolutely love it. RT @Arlarse Imagine Suarez scored the winner at Old Trafford… #

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• Dear Twitter, I know about your new activity panel and I don't give a flying one. Many thanks, etc, etc… #
• I've got no problem with a challenge with FIFA 12 but every player being a cross between Lionel Messi & Maradona I do have a problem with. #
• It's the one thing that stopped me playing PES in the end, no matter how sheite the player, they'd manage to go on 90 yard mazy runs. #
• Sorry about that, just needed to get that out my system. #
• @BrianDurand56 Definitely, got to get his tax returns in by tomorrow for starters. #obviousjokes #
• Real shame Cisse never really made it Anfield. Broken leg and Rafa not being a fan meant he never got a proper chance. #
• Those weren't the ONLY reasons he failed to make it at LFC BTW, before I get angry tweets telling me otherwise. #
• Just watching the highlights from the Wolves game for 1st time. How on earth Charlie Adam wasn't given a penalty in 1st half I don't know. #
• Wolves game was reasonably even in the first half, at least on the basis of the highlights anyway. #
• And on the basis of the last few games, it's clear Jordan Henderson is going to be a very good player for #LFC #
• Please don't retweet or mention THAT individual please. #
• I should probably know this but has Shelvey started a PL game yet? #
• Thanks to those who told me that Shelvey started against Villa. Certainly deserves a few more, him & Henderson could be a great partnership. #

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• Just seen the teamsheet. Nice balance to it tonight and hopefully having Spearing in the holding role will free up Adam & Henderson. #
• Also; Carroll, Kuyt & Bellamy in the same side shows some serious attacking intent there. I approve. #
• @SiClancy Pepe Reina spreads it around like Ryan Giggs on heat. #Imnotentirelysurethisjokeworks #
• @Skipper8_ @pauledwards1973 was about to ask the same myself. None of the academy lads I follow have said anything, only follow a few though #
• With apologies to @littlelegalgirl for stealing her "bit" but has Andy Carroll scored. I'm not sure. #
• In other news, apart from handcuff man, the definite highlight of the 1st half of Ever*on-Man City was when I went to get a Pot Noodle. #
• Do us a favour love! RT @skysarahjane It'll be #Torres next…………. #
• Just listening to Monday's Guardian Football Weekly podcast. Interesting theory from @SidLowe that Rafa Benitez wants the England job. #
• @flipflopy @SidLowe most things are better than Arry. #
• Chelsea may have grabbed a point but they still have to come to Anfield and they clearly love dropping points. Fight for 4th far from over. #

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• The Internet is the narcissists best friend; always give them the attention they so desperately need. #
• Even if they have to set up fake accounts in the name of journalists to get it. #
• Here's here all week! RT @milfordio These look like some excellent #LFC transfers to me http://t.co/5VWdkrME #
• RTing myself from last night; David Texiera: http://t.co/exk5zQJS has scored a goal every 139.11 mins this season. #
• His market value is only £3-4m too, so could well end up being a Coates style bargain. #
• Strange how the BBC only have James Richardson doing this Late Kick Off show. Seems a bit of a waste IMO. #
• If I was in charge at the Beeb, I'd have him doing a Monday night round up of EPL, championship & league football. That would be great. #
• .@Skipper8_ Texeira's only 20 and has potential to get better. Alves was 25(?) and Boro paid way too much for him. Big difference. #
• Wow, if 2 honourable football people such as Harry Redknapp & Milan Mandaric could be guilty to tax evasion, who else could be doing that? #
• I do hope most of you are intelligent to spot the sarcasm in that last tweet. I suspect most of you are. #
• Mr Redknapp… is the most successful English manager in the modern game, having led Portsmouth to FA Cup success; this statement saddens me #
• James Pearce, BBC Sport; "this is a trial that is going to receive a great deal of attention"- Unless your one of Arry's many journo friends #
• In which case, they'll still think Arry is lovable old cockney geezer like Vinnie Jones or Mad Frankie Fraser. #
• Hard to argue with this. RT @graemehunter @TSmilinAssassin likewise with the idea that Harry is the ideal England manager *horror* #
• It costs £440k to send Cheryl Cole to Afghanistan. How much to send Ashley & how much to keep him there? http://t.co/PhrTUOWS #
• The owners ARE in town then. Suspect some deals/shit about to go down/be completed very soon. #
• Slightly random question this but is Martin Keown coaching with anyone? #
• Only reason I ask is that I remember signing him as my defensive coach in FM2010. Very good one he was too. #
• Speaking of FM2010 memories, I remember signing Nathaniel Clyne for a few million. And Cardiff's Gunnarsson too. Both canny signings. #
• Gunnarsson I turned into a very useful right winger. Took a couple of years to develop properly but justified his £3.5m price tag. #
• @propagandaphoto as I said about the FA a few weeks back, there's a difference between being corrupt and being inept. Webb possibly both! #
• Getting bored of the football, so turned over to The Shawshank Redemption. Soundtrack alone is amazing, rest of film isn't bad. #
• @zarifrasul perhaps he should've titled that article "Look, LFC fans, I'm not a complete bellend. Honest!" #
• @TonyEvansTimes @anlfcfan Let's calm down eh fellas? We are none of us perfect. #
• It's Gerrard vs Gerrard (potentially) in the League Cup final then? #
• Is it brave or stupid of Kenny to pick the same side that lost to Bolton. Personally, I'd have shaken things up but then…. #
• I haven't won 4 league titles, so what do I know? #
• @markjepson @Mike_Arkwright He's not in form at the moment and deserves criticism. Think CA would be the first to admit it. #
• OK, maybe it wasn't the EXACT line-up that started against Bolton but everyone who starts was involved in the game. My point still stands. #
• Next question of the evening; Ben Shepherd. Why? #
• Has Andy Burton left a "brick" on Kenny Dalglish's driveway or something? Even by his usual standards, he clearly doesn't like the man. #
• Charming, and how lovely to make your acquaintance! RT @JoeD2k10 @TSmilinAssassin no your point doesn't stand. Your wrong, get over it. #
• Last chance for Kenny tonight; he either gets the 3 points or he should be sacked. #
• Right, let's see who hasn't got their sarcasm filters switched on this evening, shall we? #trolllikestateofmind #
• @iainmacintosh what you're saying is that he's the Colleen Nolan of refereeing then? #
• Very, very rarely. RT @Pchorney @TSmilinAssassin are you serious #

• The Internet is the narcissists best friend; always give them the attention they so desperately need. #
• Even if they have to set up fake accounts in the name of journalists to get it. #
• Here's here all week! RT @milfordio These look like some excellent #LFC transfers to me http://t.co/5VWdkrME #
• RTing myself from last night; David Texiera: http://t.co/exk5zQJS has scored a goal every 139.11 mins this season. #
• His market value is only £3-4m too, so could well end up being a Coates style bargain. #
• Strange how the BBC only have James Richardson doing this Late Kick Off show. Seems a bit of a waste IMO. #
• If I was in charge at the Beeb, I'd have him doing a Monday night round up of EPL, championship & league football. That would be great. #
• .@Skipper8_ Texeira's only 20 and has potential to get better. Alves was 25(?) and Boro paid way too much for him. Big difference. #
• Wow, if 2 honourable football people such as Harry Redknapp & Milan Mandaric could be guilty to tax evasion, who else could be doing that? #
• I do hope most of you are intelligent to spot the sarcasm in that last tweet. I suspect most of you are. #
• Mr Redknapp… is the most successful English manager in the modern game, having led Portsmouth to FA Cup success; this statement saddens me #
• James Pearce, BBC Sport; "this is a trial that is going to receive a great deal of attention"- Unless your one of Arry's many journo friends #
• In which case, they'll still think Arry is lovable old cockney geezer like Vinnie Jones or Mad Frankie Fraser. #
• Hard to argue with this. RT @graemehunter @TSmilinAssassin likewise with the idea that Harry is the ideal England manager *horror* #
• It costs £440k to send Cheryl Cole to Afghanistan. How much to send Ashley & how much to keep him there? http://t.co/PhrTUOWS #
• The owners ARE in town then. Suspect some deals/shit about to go down/be completed very soon. #
• Slightly random question this but is Martin Keown coaching with anyone? #
• Only reason I ask is that I remember signing him as my defensive coach in FM2010. Very good one he was too. #
• Speaking of FM2010 memories, I remember signing Nathaniel Clyne for a few million. And Cardiff's Gunnarsson too. Both canny signings. #
• Gunnarsson I turned into a very useful right winger. Took a couple of years to develop properly but justified his £3.5m price tag. #
• @propagandaphoto as I said about the FA a few weeks back, there's a difference between being corrupt and being inept. Webb possibly both! #
• Getting bored of the football, so turned over to The Shawshank Redemption. Soundtrack alone is amazing, rest of film isn't bad. #
• @zarifrasul perhaps he should've titled that article "Look, LFC fans, I'm not a complete bellend. Honest!" #
• @TonyEvansTimes @anlfcfan Let's calm down eh fellas? We are none of us perfect. #
• It's Gerrard vs Gerrard (potentially) in the League Cup final then? #
• Is it brave or stupid of Kenny to pick the same side that lost to Bolton. Personally, I'd have shaken things up but then…. #
• I haven't won 4 league titles, so what do I know? #
• @markjepson @Mike_Arkwright He's not in form at the moment and deserves criticism. Think CA would be the first to admit it. #
• OK, maybe it wasn't the EXACT line-up that started against Bolton but everyone who starts was involved in the game. My point still stands. #
• Next question of the evening; Ben Shepherd. Why? #
• Has Andy Burton left a "brick" on Kenny Dalglish's driveway or something? Even by his usual standards, he clearly doesn't like the man. #
• Charming, and how lovely to make your acquaintance! RT @JoeD2k10 @TSmilinAssassin no your point doesn't stand. Your wrong, get over it. #
• Last chance for Kenny tonight; he either gets the 3 points or he should be sacked. #
• Right, let's see who hasn't got their sarcasm filters switched on this evening, shall we? #trolllikestateofmind #
• @iainmacintosh what you're saying is that he's the Colleen Nolan of refereeing then? #
• Very, very rarely. RT @Pchorney @TSmilinAssassin are you serious #

• I go away for a few hours and Daniel Taylor has a Twitter meltdown and Ian McGarry claims Mourinho will leave Real Madrid. #
• And let's be honest, if Ian McGarry claims something is going to happen then it's definitely going to…. :-/ #
• And yes, we're going to exchange one of the most promising (though struggling at the moment) young English players for…. #
• One of the most consistent trouble makers in world football. A few years ago I would've taken Tevez without a shadow of a doubt but now? #
• Tevez, and his agent/manager/carer in particular, are trouble whereever they've been. So dodgy not even Arry will touch 'em. #
• In rambling mode, so apologies but why does ITV persist with Adrian Chiles when they also employ Matt Smith. Far better presenting. #
• Nothing to do with the fact that Matt Smith is also a red of course, nothing whatsoever. #
• Wonder if that explains Kenny's post match comments about Carroll, given that this supposed offer came in on Thursday. #
• @JangoSolo I've seen him wearing an LFC scarf before, so unless he's that ashamed to be a blue that he needs to wear our scarf… #
• After Ashley Cole, Andre Villas Boas has one of the finest beards in world football. #
• Childish I know but that @robbohuyton reply to Daniel Taylor is amazing. #
• #ThingsThatDontExist Daniel Taylor of The Guardian's sense of fairness and objectivity #
• Shocking that Daniel Sturridge won a penalty for that dive. #
• Tubbs scored a decent goal for Crawley. His strike partner Crockett had an absolute shocker though. #
• @JoeD2k10 Not important as I don't think Kenny would take him, not unless he's lost his senses. #
• @thisisanfield Paul Konchesky In Inability To Tackle Shocker! #imthenewdanieltaylor #
• .@zarifrasul As is the idea of Mourinho vs Kenny. Entertainment value of those 2 alone are immense. Together? My word…. #
• Say what you like about Mourinho but the man is first class entertainment. Hope he does come back to the Premier League sooner than later. #
• @GailLibby or sarcastically saying "well done" to German fourth officials, do love him #nohomo #
• I think I've got to the bottom of why Forest fan Daniel Taylor hates #LFC so much… http://t.co/jDDOK3T3 #lookatbarneshere #
• @flipflopy a couple of times, yeah. #
• @flipflopy no worries! #
• So we play all our League Cup games, bar one, away from home and get to the final. Odds on it being the reverse for the FA Cup? #
• Brighton not easy (showed that last night & earlier in the season at the AMEX) but glad we avoided other PL teams I must say. #
• 58. RT @TashaKaurLFC On a scale of 1-10, how much of a fickle nobhead is @piersmorgan? #

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• Nice of The Guardian's Daniel Taylor to remind us of Alan Smith breaking his leg the last time we played Utd at Anfield. #
• Would've been nice of him to mention it was Smith's fault for diving in on one of John Arne Riise's FKs but can't upset Fergie, can we? #
• Still, he would've been delighted at jumping ahead of Howard Webb to give Fergie his Monday reacharound this week. #
• Oh and before the pedants/trolls/twats/Utd fans crawl out the woodwork, I did mean last time we met in the FA Cup. We are none of us perfect #
• If we are after Cavani, it does make you wonder why we hired Damien Comolli. Cavani hardly an unknown, is he? #
• BTW, I'm more likely to spend an evening "hanging out the back" of Christina Hendricks than we are of signing Edinson Cavani before Tuesday. #
• @dant7733 he'll find the talent, I'm just tired and a little "cranky" that's all. #
• @LFCTransferSpec if we get CL football, then I think we stand a good chance. Money is there now, which is nice. #
• For anyone unaware of who I'm talking of; Edinson Cavani http://t.co/GLeJG2KJ – €28m value and a contract until 2016. €40m about right. #
• Though using my patented (it's not really) Minutes Per Goal calculator he scores every goal 1 minute sooner than Jermaine Defoe. #
• Not sure I phrased that properly in my last tweet so; Cavani scores every 126.5mins, Defoe every 127.8mins (applies to this season only) #
• To be fair, very little in it either. RT @empireofthekop Evra just whacked Maxi, nothing given. #
• Biased here I know but we've been the better side so far. Never take a Utd team for granted though. #
• Issue with Carroll still remains the system around him. Doesn't do himself any favours at times but needs stronger support. #
• Again, biased, but deserved. #LFC #
• Rush of blood to the head from Stevie there. Waste of a good position. #
• One thing I will say is that it won't be the last chance of the game for either Stevie or #LFC #
• In the interests of balance, a totally deserved goal for Utd. We've been slack since Agger scored. #
• Half of two halves. #
• Carragher in DM is a fine idea, on paper, but while he's doing the sitting & holding, he isn't doing the ball winning that DMs need to do. #
• Move Stevie back there and have Adam & Henderson in midfield with one, other or both pushing forward. #
• Not ideal and takes one of our most creative players out the game but a better option than the current setup. #
• Hard not to argue for swapping sides for Downing & Maxi. Utd pushing both onto their weaker foot, both largely ineffective. #
• Lack of pace, genuine or otherwise, really is a weak spot. Need someone, other than Bellamy, to be running at defences week in, week out. #
• You can say what you like about Ryan Giggs #
• If you wanted 3 words to sum up #LFC this season then "trying too hard" would be a good choice. #
• Certainly from the new signings anyway, Downing & Adam especially. #
• #3wordstosumuplfc RT @Dalglish_28 @TSmilinAssassin no cutting edge l #LFC #
• I wasn't nervous coming into this, I wasn't nervous at HT but I'm certainly nervous right now. Long 10 minutes coming up. #
• Football, eh? Bloody hell! #
• Extra layer of schadenfreude that it was Patrice Evra's mistake that allowed Kuyt to score. Karma's a bitch at times, it really is. #
• #MUFC Beaten 6-1 at home by their closest rival, knocked out the easiest CL group, knocked out League Cup by a Championship team… #
• And now #MUFC knocked out in the 4th round of the FA Cup. Need someone to steady the ship, I feel. #
• One #MUFC fan at work called Kenny a "shit manager" & another said they'd "field a B team and still win". Both interesting theories…… #
• To be fair to Patrice Evra, he was busy listening out for people calling him a negro in the buildup to Kuyt's goal. Easy mistake to make. #
• Agreed RT @kingkenny_7 Boring I know – but Mark Halsey is head and shoulders above every other referee in this country. #

• @BarryMarelli Spurs at home on a week Saturday. #
• Forgot to talk about it last night but a (rumoured) loan move for Raheem Sterling could be exactly what he's after…. #
• Even though I thought that Kenny was going to try and blood him into the 1st team squad this season. Again, what do I know. #
• @pauledwards1973 best performance from him for a couple of months. Not saying much I know but still. #
• @dant7733 I think (potentially) playing week in, week out for a Premier League team is more use to him now than playing reserve/youth games. #
• @dant7733 But yeah, Owen Coyle does seem to have some magic touch when it comes to developing younger players doesn't he? #
• @dant7733 He'd have to be playing week in, week out whereever he goes, otherwise it'll be a complete waste of time him going on loan. #
• IF we win the League Cup, I think it'll be a huge confidence boost going into our (relatively) easy run in. #
• Last 12 games (1/2); Arsenal(H) Sunderland (A) QPR(A) Wigan(H) Newcastle(A) Aston Villa(H) Blackburn(A) Fulham(H) #
• Last 12 games (2/2); West Brom (H) Norwich (A) Chelsea (H) Swansea (A) as well as a rearranged game against Eve*ton, so nothing too hard. #
• However, as Arsenal proved last season, losing a League Cup final when you're the heavy favourites can absolutely destroy your season. #
• .@Riaz1982 Mark Bright once admitted, on national radio, that he'd never heard or seen Juan Mata play "except for clips on YouTube" #
• .@Riaz1982 This was when he'd just signed for Chelsea and had been in the Valencia side for about 4 years. Utter joke of a pundit. #
• @MARKOPOLO100 Have you been watching Family Guy again? #
• I reckon @lfctv must be breaking some kind of viewing figure record for this time of night. #yesimwatchingitaswell #
• So @JBcommentator is doing a commentary on his commentary. A first, surely? #

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