The Smiling Assassin

• Call me a pessimist but not expecting anything today, so not getting nervous ahead of the game. Hey, it worked for the League Cup final… #
• Only just mind. 2-1 to #LFC with #CFC to score first is my top betting tip. Though if you're taking tips from me then you must be desperate. #
• When it comes to LFC this season, definitely and sadly. RT @Skythanil @TSmilinAssassin Set your sights low and you'll never be disappointed. #
• Seem to remember the first 20 mins of the Norwich game being pretty poor and that turned out alright. Plenty of time left. #facupfinal #
• 1017th time I've mentioned it this season but our lack of wingers, or rather effective wingers, has been our weak point this season. #
• Playing people in pre season you're trying to sell hasn't really worked out, has it? Another major failing of this season. #
• Fitness levels haven't really been there all season. Too many times players have looked exhausted and lethargic, especially recently. #
• Re. Fitness levels. And I agree. RT @JordoWesthead @TSmilinAssassin Especially since we have had no Europe. #
• Hard to watch but it has been for a few months now. Still think Kenny deserves another season though. #
• Enrique looks shattered but he's looked like that since the 1st minute. Makes you wonder what use Dr. Brukner is? #
• For those wondering why KD deserves another season; some of our play in the calendar year 2011 was excellent. 2012 less so… #
• But injuries, new players and the Suarez case haven't helped us at all. Was always going to be a season of transistion. #
• Not making excuses and these are just my opinions. And believe me, some of the results we've had this season have been hard to take. #
• That's better. Lovely footwork from Big Andy too. As I said, not over yet. #
• Slightly random observation this but there really has been a lot of gay innuendo in this ITV commentary today. #
• How many chances has Big Andy had so far? At least half a dozen, isn't it? Encouraging. #
• Good mates with Tom Daley as well, I understand. RT @Arlarse Meireles is a quilt. #
• Slipping away here. Running out of ideas. But enough of my tweeting. #LFC nearly done here bar a miracle/wonder strike. #

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• The FA have complained about The S*n's headline this morning, complaining that they feel it is a disgwace. #sorry #
• @Pete2482 as I said a few weeks back, Kenny was clearly given choice between 4th in league or a cup win at the start of the season. #
• @Pete2482 Clearly felt the latter was easier to do. #
• Just read about The BBC's alleged new Twitter guidelines. Stupid doesn't even begin to describe them. #
• Capital FM, the nations hit music station. The "S" is clearly silent in hit then. #
• Anyway, there is a football match on now. Lets see how long it takes me to lose interest in this then? #
• Really like Aaron Lennon. One of many I'd wish we'd signed when we had the chance. #
• Oh, and he's exactly the type of player we need to sign urgently in the Summer. Have I ever mentioned that we need to sign a right winger? #
• Tim Reem apparently has a sister named Dee. #mid90spopbasedfootballjokes #
• This game has not been a classic, it's fair to say. #thfc #bwfc #
• That was a beauty from Modric, no question. Downside is we now have to hear a rendition of "When the Spurs…" #
• At 65 minutes, I'm out. Think I need a break from Twitter and football. Both neither as enjoyable as they used to be. #

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• Hard to know what to say. Every time I think of something to say, I've already said it a hundred times over. #
• Poor league form is one thing but losing at home to likes of Wigan & Fulham is not acceptable in a cup winning season or not. #
• This season has been dead in the water for a good couple of months. And Kenny would be seriously screwed without cup wins. #
• Sorry, got ahead of myself in that last tweet! 2 cup final appearances would probably be fairer. #
• Ah, already getting the "FSG will move Kenny upstairs and bring back Rafa" tweets. Didn't take long. Think I'll bid farewell for now. #

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• Excuse the recent Twitter silence, have been busy. BTW, did LFC play over the weekend? #
• Fancy Barca to win 7-1 tonight; just put a couple of quid on it, which means they wont. #
• On another note, @glen_johnson really should be ashamed of himself for doing that Mars advert. #shocking #
• Come on Lionel, I've got a quid on you scoring first. Poor. #sarcasm #
• I saw that Paul Scholes finished third in the Football Writers Player Of The Year awards. Pathetic really. #
• On the one hand, Chelsea are down to ten men. On the other, John Terry can better manage the situation his team are in now. #
• 7-1 @ 175-1 doesn't look QUITE so stupid now, does it? #sexyfootball #
• There's Chelsea's 1 anyway. Another 5 for Barca please! #needthemoney #
• "Go get the Ladyboy"
  "But the Ladyboy is sleeping"
  "Well, you'd better go wake him up then" #
• Brilliant defending by Ashley Cole? Yes, takes someone truly world class to knock the ball out for a corner, doesn't it? #
• Raul Mereiles is out of the final. Shame. #
• Chelsea players need to careful bending over like that, John Terry might end up bumping into them. #
• Also, that Gary Neville groan as Torres scores is going to haunt my dreams for many a week. #
• Oh do fuck off. RT @MOgdenTelegraph That tops Liverpool in Istanbul #
• 9 minutes in and this looks like it'll be another dull, lifeless Champions League match… #
• I see your Jim Beglin and raise you an Andy Townshend. RT @PeteKopite Jim Beglin is the worse commentator on the tv. #
• @Emperor_Kenzo @PeteKopite Stan Collymore. I win. #
• Didn't quite a few journalists write off Arbeloa as not good enough for the PL. Yet he starts for Madrid & Spain. English journalists eh? #
• @PeteKopite @emperor_kenzo With a Robbie Savage & a Stan Collymore card drawn, I call a draw. #
• #WordsYouWillNeverHearMeSay I have to say that I find Gary Neville sexually alluring. #
• I really hope Mourinho has one of his "moments" in the second half. Those are always good for a laugh. #
• And celebrate the best of British this year by dressing yourself entirely in sportswear made and designed in Germany! #rulebrittania #
• Would be nice to watch ANY game of football these days without my timeline filling up with people arguing about Rafa Benitez. #
• And I wish people would reconcile the difference of opinion about Rafa the manager and Rafa the person. #
• Criticize Rafa about his footballing decisions and people take it as a direct personal slur on his good name. #
• Rafa is a great person but his decision making as a manager is, occassionally, a bit suspect. That's not an unfair comment, is it? Or is it? #
• Should Rafa be given a second chance at #LFC Yes, when he, and us, have both moved on. Not sure either party has moved on yet. #
• That look from Mourinho then? lol. #
• Never mind missing Rafa, I think we miss Xabi Alonso far, far more. #
• Is Mourinho praying? lol #
• Sergio Wilkinson with the conversion, so that will score Real Madrid 3 in this shootout. #
• Will the Pig Climber score? #
• He does! Now for "Bayern to Batter the Blues in Bavaria" in May. #
• RT @anlfcfan When we're 3 up, I might relax a bit. #
• Going to have unclench my anus with a crowbar at FT; that's how poor some of the "banter" between Jon Champion & Craig Burley has been. #
• Glad to Shelvey starting games. Injuries have forced the issue but he has a big future ahead of him. #
• Strange how we can turn performances like that in away from home yet be so poor at home. Or at least get poor results at home anyway. #
• @Emperor_Kenzo Wickham picked up a serious knee injury in September(ish) and has been out since. Marveaux is a tiny bit shit. #
• @Emperor_Kenzo Don't think we regret missing out on either of those somehow. #

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• RT @anlfcfan When we're 3 up, I might relax a bit. #
• Going to have unclench my anus with a crowbar at FT; that's how poor some of the "banter" between Jon Champion & Craig Burley has been. #
• Glad to Shelvey starting games. Injuries have forced the issue but he has a big future ahead of him. #
• Strange how we can turn performances like that in away from home yet be so poor at home. Or at least get poor results at home anyway. #
• @Emperor_Kenzo Wickham picked up a serious knee injury in September(ish) and has been out since. Marveaux is a tiny bit shit. #
• @Emperor_Kenzo Don't think we regret missing out on either of those somehow. #

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• 9 minutes in and this looks like it'll be another dull, lifeless Champions League match… #
• I see your Jim Beglin and raise you an Andy Townshend. RT @PeteKopite Jim Beglin is the worse commentator on the tv. #
• @Emperor_Kenzo @PeteKopite Stan Collymore. I win. #
• Didn't quite a few journalists write off Arbeloa as not good enough for the PL. Yet he starts for Madrid & Spain. English journalists eh? #
• @PeteKopite @emperor_kenzo With a Robbie Savage & a Stan Collymore card drawn, I call a draw. #
• #WordsYouWillNeverHearMeSay I have to say that I find Gary Neville sexually alluring. #
• I really hope Mourinho has one of his "moments" in the second half. Those are always good for a laugh. #
• And celebrate the best of British this year by dressing yourself entirely in sportswear made and designed in Germany! #rulebrittania #
• Would be nice to watch ANY game of football these days without my timeline filling up with people arguing about Rafa Benitez. #
• And I wish people would reconcile the difference of opinion about Rafa the manager and Rafa the person. #
• Criticize Rafa about his footballing decisions and people take it as a direct personal slur on his good name. #
• Rafa is a great person but his decision making as a manager is, occassionally, a bit suspect. That's not an unfair comment, is it? Or is it? #
• Should Rafa be given a second chance at #LFC Yes, when he, and us, have both moved on. Not sure either party has moved on yet. #
• That look from Mourinho then? lol. #
• Never mind missing Rafa, I think we miss Xabi Alonso far, far more. #
• Is Mourinho praying? lol #
• Sergio Wilkinson with the conversion, so that will score Real Madrid 3 in this shootout. #
• Will the Pig Climber score? #
• He does! Now for "Bayern to Batter the Blues in Bavaria" in May. #

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• Excuse the recent Twitter silence, have been busy. BTW, did LFC play over the weekend? #
• Fancy Barca to win 7-1 tonight; just put a couple of quid on it, which means they wont. #
• On another note, @glen_johnson really should be ashamed of himself for doing that Mars advert. #shocking #
• Come on Lionel, I've got a quid on you scoring first. Poor. #sarcasm #
• I saw that Paul Scholes finished third in the Football Writers Player Of The Year awards. Pathetic really. #
• On the one hand, Chelsea are down to ten men. On the other, John Terry can better manage the situation his team are in now. #
• 7-1 @ 175-1 doesn't look QUITE so stupid now, does it? #sexyfootball #
• There's Chelsea's 1 anyway. Another 5 for Barca please! #needthemoney #
• "Go get the Ladyboy"
  "But the Ladyboy is sleeping"
  "Well, you'd better go wake him up then" #
• Brilliant defending by Ashley Cole? Yes, takes someone truly world class to knock the ball out for a corner, doesn't it? #
• Raul Mereiles is out of the final. Shame. #
• Chelsea players need to careful bending over like that, John Terry might end up bumping into them. #
• Also, that Gary Neville groan as Torres scores is going to haunt my dreams for many a week. #
• Oh do fuck off. RT @MOgdenTelegraph That tops Liverpool in Istanbul #

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• Spent the evening hearing lots of people chanting "YES!", with the very occasional chant of "Fish & Chips". #
• If you understand that last tweet, you probably know what I've spent the evening watching. #
• Lovely to see Fernando Torres playing Champions League football, isn't it. Oh. Wait. #
• Next time Didier Drogba goes down on the ground, someone should come on and put him out of his misery. Only humane thing to do. #
• For someone who can't maintain his balance for only 90 seconds at a time, Didier Drogba can still score quite a few goals. #
• Didn't think it was possible to find Roy Keane any more unlikeable. Until I found out he wrote for the Irish Sun. #scum #subhumanscum #
• @oscarpyejeary If I had to sit opposite Adrian Chiles for the best part of 3 hours, I'd probably look like I'd want to kill everyone. #
• Hearing rumours from the touchline that Chelsea are considering replacing Didier Drogba with Tom Daley in about 5 minutes time. #
• You're Didier Drogba, and you've just been kicked in the cock. #
• In fact, am going to pitch that as a new late night Channel 4 gameshow. Kicked In The Cock with Dale Winton. #
• If the Barcelona number 16 were to expel some rectal gas, would it be called an Air Busquets? #mindofa13yearold #
• Sad news; After his post match interview, Dider Drogba came up lame and had to be humanely destroyed. He will be missed. #RIP #thatwasajoke #
• I know this opinion is probably a bit controversial but I think Anders Breivik might be a tiny bit mental. #

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• Lovely to see Fernando Torres playing Champions League football, isn't it. Oh. Wait. #
• Next time Didier Drogba goes down on the ground, someone should come on and put him out of his misery. Only humane thing to do. #
• For someone who can't maintain his balance for only 90 seconds at a time, Didier Drogba can still score quite a few goals. #
• Didn't think it was possible to find Roy Keane any more unlikeable. Until I found out he wrote for the Irish Sun. #scum #subhumanscum #
• @oscarpyejeary If I had to sit opposite Adrian Chiles for the best part of 3 hours, I'd probably look like I'd want to kill everyone. #
• Hearing rumours from the touchline that Chelsea are considering replacing Didier Drogba with Tom Daley in about 5 minutes time. #
• You're Didier Drogba, and you've just been kicked in the cock. #
• In fact, am going to pitch that as a new late night Channel 4 gameshow. Kicked In The Cock with Dale Winton. #
• If the Barcelona number 16 were to expel some rectal gas, would it be called an Air Busquets? #mindofa13yearold #
• Sad news; After his post match interview, Dider Drogba came up lame and had to be humanely destroyed. He will be missed. #RIP #thatwasajoke #
• I know this opinion is probably a bit controversial but I think Anders Breivik might be a tiny bit mental. #

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• Spent the evening hearing lots of people chanting "YES!", with the very occasional chant of "Fish & Chips". #
• If you understand that last tweet, you probably know what I've spent the evening watching. #

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